Humble Yourself(How to Be Humble)

TechMono360圖書與參考資源2019-03-09

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更新日期：2019-03-09

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As virtues go, humility is pretty unpopular. Being paid the “humble” compliment can be worse than when a woman gives her romantic partner the “you’re a nice guy” letdown. But many positive psychologists feel that humility is due for an image makeover.

Part of the reason humility has been so overlooked as valuable and honorable is practicality. After all, it’s hard to measure how humble a person is. If researchers ask someone to assess her own humility and the self-rating is five out of five stars, how humble can she really be? This paradox of humility is why you probably haven’t heard of it as a “regular”—up there with gratitude, optimism and compassion—in the science of happiness. It’s difficult to quantify and study.

Humility also has another public relations challenge: It’s not exciting. We might appreciate the trait in others—we don’t feel threatened by unassuming people—but in ourselves? Eh. We’d rather be confident and bold. We’ll take that spotlight, thank you very much. Humility doesn’t have the Oprah-worthy, leather-bound gratitude journals, nor does it feature optimism’s sunny, iconic smiley face, nor the heartwarming imagery of compassion.

But humility could effect just as powerful a positive change in your life as the other pillars of well-being. Higher levels of humility have been associated with a higher sense of life purpose, better (self-reported) health, increased workplace harmony, longer-lasting marriages and greater generosity—all of which contribute to stronger communities. And that’s sort of the point of humility: It’s for the good of all, not just oneself (another reason it’s been a tough sell). “Humility is a very pro-social quality,” says Joshua Hook, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of North Texas.

But if you don’t want to cultivate humility for the sake of others, do it for your love life. In one study, Hook and other researchers asked college students to check out the online-dating profile of a potential romantic partner and assess the likelihood that they would accept a date with the person. Along with an essay about interests and history, the profile included measurements of various personality traits such as extroversion, openness to new experiences, neuroticism and humility. One group was shown a profile of someone who was rated “highly humble” (ranked in the 87th percentile). A second group was shown the exact same profile, but with a “not humble” (24th percentile) rating. Overwhelmingly, the students who were given the more humble candidate were significantly more willing to accept a date than those shown the not-so-modest match. “When you don’t always need to be right, relationships are smoother and can be more intimate,” Hook says.

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